Ksenia Bezuglova, Miss Wheelchair World speaks on why she doesn’t complain her motherhood and relationships that can withstand any test.
“A moment before we rolled over, I felt: that’s it. I didn’t panic. I just covered my belly with a hand. The car stopped spinning; I perceived my condition and understood everything at once. When they tried to pull me out, I said: “Please don’t touch me, my spine is broken”. In 2008, Kseniya Bezuglova with her husband and friends had a car accident on their way from the vacation. She had to struggle for two lives and struggle for the opportunity to maintain her pregnancy despite the trauma, pain, and possible complications.
This year her little Tais has started going to school; and Kseniya is engaged in a public activity, meeting with officials, volunteers, fighting for the rights of the disabled, including the right of every woman to become a mother. And her words do meet her actions. We had had this conversation two days before she gave a birth to her second daughter, Alexa.
About the project
- I really cared about how to help women with disabilities willing to become mothers. At the earliest convenience I have raised this issue in the Council under the Ministry of Healthcare in Moscow, and they supported me.
- Girls in wheelchairs used to tell that when they came to a gynecologist they were persuaded to have their pregnancy terminated. You are disabled, said doctors, and you are going to have a baby? Now the approach is absolutely different. There were several medical conferences held to explain how the healthcare institutions can support such women. They carry children normally and babies are born healthy.
- There were only 30 disabled women bent on giving a birth in Moscow three years ago. This year there will be about a hundred.
- My second pregnancy was much-anticipated though sudden. I do not have much time to take care about myself. My doctor keeps saying that it’s not right: I help many women to give birth, but can’t attend a doctor myself. I just wanted a baby, and it happened.
- Of course, people in the streets stared wide-eye at me, trying to find out if I was pregnant or not. I’m used to it. They might are experiencing something cool and unusual. Okay.
- The busy schedule of my flights and city trips didn’t let me lie on a sofa and drag something out from the fridge all the time. I even had weight shortage and everybody around was worried.
- During the pregnancy, I did remedial exercises — special moderate stretching with a coach in order to keep muscles of arms and back toned. But swimming pool is the best thing one can imagine, especially for a girl in a wheelchair.
- I used to travel in a wheelchair with my first daughter, Taisia, I was pushing a baby stroller, and my husband pushed us both from the back. Now I have an electric wheelchair so I can go for a walk on my own. Now there is another device, the bracket with a cradle that attaches to the wheelchair. That is incredibly convenient.
- Maternity leave is for those who are employed. I don’t have a job, but I have ideas and projects that can’t be left without my attention.
- During the pregnancy, I was hospitalized with a serious condition. And I couldn’t write a post about it, couldn’t share. It’s like I want to be a girl that requires attention, but I can’t afford it. I feel the responsibility.
- I often catch myself thinking that I belong to everybody too much and it’s high time I should stop. I was taken to the hospital because of that as well. And you feel so sorry for yourself when you lie with fever on a drip with black veins as the dropper is connected to legs, and you think, ‘Why did I do it all to myself? I could just bear the pregnancy in a calm atmosphere just as all the other girls do’, but the path is already chosen and there is no way back.
- My husband often says: “Relax, respire. You really do a lot, think about yourself as well”. But he is a workaholic himself and he knows: if I work so much it means that I feel I have enough energy.
- People with disabilities often ask how to find themselves. I usually say that one should look around and realize the needs of those who are around.
- I am in a wheelchair, but I am an object of men’s interest. Many girls in a wheelchair whom I know are in the same situation, they are married to the healthy, successful, and handsome men. The most important quality for a woman is having a zest for life. And if you love life and exude joy, men will be within call no matter what your physical condition is. There will be someone who would intake this energy.
- My husband and I have been together for 18 years already, and we have the exchange of energies. He is experienced enough to understand that he wouldn’t accept anything else. Not every woman is determined to give joy or understands how to do it. I often hear from women that they are willing to take, what they want or expect. But I seldom hear that they are determined to exhilarate their men for love, become his inspiration, a muse, just to be near.
- We have been through many hardships with my husband. It was not always an easy, carefree and happy life. I can say: if you stand to the end and do not try to escape from one another, the relationship gets stronger. And as it goes on, it becomes harder for someone or something to destroy it.
Read more about Ksenia: “I WAS THE FIRST WHEELCHAIR TOURIST WITH THE MONOSKI IN SOCHI”
Photo: Anna Kozlenko