HOW TO FIND YOUR ORGASM

Gynecologist Dmitriy Lubnin explains how orgasm works, why woman “viagra” can’t be created and how running and falling exams help us to come.

Last year American Cosmopolitan has conducted a research among women aged 18-40 and found out that women reached orgasm only in 57 per cent of cases (this number is 95 for men). Moreover, 72 per cent of women complain that their partners do not help them reaching orgasm. These numbers are troubling, however, there is something we can do ourselves!

CILANTRO In 2015 The US Food and Drug Administration (FDA) has registered a drug Addyi, that is also called “Viagra for women”. How does it work?

LUBNIN This drug is targeted to one very specific and uncommon disease – syndrome of sexual dysfunction that women may have during menopause. The main symptom is unexpected absence of sexual desire and sensations. Usually it happens without any obvious reason – no medications were taken, and there was no conflict with her partner. But woman does not experience any sexual desire, and this condition may lead to a depression.    

Recently, a clinical research has been conducted and it was proven that this medicine is 0,1 more effective than placebo. It affects serotonin receptors, just as normal antidepressants do. However, it is absolutely not compatible with alcohol. It also may lead to unexpected fainting. The media don’t emphasize the fact that this drug is suitable only for this syndrome, so in future there may appear a new kind of men – those who give Addyi to their girlfriends, forgetting about the fact that even one glass of champagne is going to provoke hypotension. And most likely this woman is going to spend the rest of the evening with the doctor-resuscitator in hospital.

Does it mean that it is impossible to invent a medicine that would be as effective for women as Viagra for men?

The drug for potency does not effect emotional condition of the man. That means that a man who has used Viagra is not going to leer with desire at every woman on the street. No, he won’t be additionally sexually aroused. But for the sexual act man needs erection, while woman is not encouraged to a sexual intercourse by increasing the size of the labia and increased lubrication. For woman, all her desire is in her head.

How does the process of sexual excitement work in female body?

Orgasm may happen in the head even when woman is asleep, or when she runs after a bus – in other words, without stimulation of genitals. In fact, when it happens, human brain recreates some kind of electrical activity. Orgasm may happen when both types of stimulation – mental and physical – are present. Mental aspect is very important. That is why Viagra for women cannot be invented.

No one tells about is, but it is a well-know fact that a woman has the best sexual experience when she is uses some specific types of drugs – namely, cocaine and ecstasy. This happens because these drugs affect a lot of neurotransmitters.  This is exactly how some types of new “Viagra” act. The only difference is that they affect not a lot of neurotransmitters, but only some of them. As you understand, these drugs always resemble cocaine or MDMA by their chemical structure. Therefore, they can not be registered. Of course, I want to emphasize that I strongly oppose any drug use, no matter what kind of “positive” effect they may have in terms of sexual experience.

Ok, let’s fling aside drugs. What are other possible ways of reaching orgasm?

In terms of sex, most of women actually deprive themselves. When I was studying the problems of sexology, I have found out the majority of Russian women are not interested in self-development in this field. I always illustrate it in this way: imagine that you have absolutely new iPhone in the box. But you are not motivated to open the box, to install all apps and to use it!

Do you think that it is a question of motivation?

Yes, exactly. Women think there must be a man who will show them everything! He would say “Hey, do you have new iPhone? Ok, let’s open it, look, you’ve got so many useful apps there!” And no one want to do it themselves – to open it, to learn, how to use it, to have fun! Because there is no such thing in our society. When I was studying this topic, I have conducted a research – anonymous online survey among women who have difficulties with reaching orgasm. I have got 250 filled questionnaires. And I was absolutely shocked by the results. The major problem was in the passive attitude. No interest, no attempts to change something or to try something new – nothing!

But I believe there are a lot of women who are interested!

Yes, of course. But if we look in percentages, that will be too little.

What should woman do, if she is ready to cope with the passivity?

It is like when you play tennis. First of all, play with yourself. Knock at the wall until you learn to beat every ball. When you learn how to “play with yourself”, then you will need just a couple of games to “play” with your partner. But how many women do? They have knocked the wall a couple of times, and move straight to the game with they partners. But it is impossible to play well, because they do no have enough experience. And many women have underdeveloped sensitivity of the vagina (it can be developed!) to fully enjoy sexual contact. So, first of all, learn to reach orgasm easily alone with yourself. Thank God, now there are so many toys available.

And why so many women have underdeveloped sensitivity of the vagina?

Because short “ruts” to orgasm are formed in the brain. For example, a girl has began to masturbate in early childhood, learned to get clitoral orgasm from the showern – a short, simple afferentation when nerve impulse appears. This is how this “rut” appears. Light stimulation of the clitoris – and here is an orgasm! Shower, or squeezing of the legs which is unrealizable in a real sexual act and a women reaches orgasm. And then she is trying to live with these three ruts in a completely different environment. During sexual act, her brain does not understand what is going on. It receives the signal from the vagina, where the receptor apparatus is not fully developed, the right amount of nerve endings, so as to effectively get out afferentation. Of course, the woman experiences a pleasant feeling, but they do not turn into an orgasm.

How to get rid of this “rut” in our brain?

It is possible to destroy it. You need to combine it with additional sensations. It is the every woman’s task. Later in sexual life she will be able to get vivid sensations from the developed vagina. It is necessary to connect the clitoris to the vagina, anus, to add something else, and the old “rut” will be broken. But this task is not always possible with a man. Often it is only self-study. Therefore, once again returning to the beloved “And can I just have some pills?” No, you can not. Only practice makes it perfect.

How to make the vagina more sensitive, and some sex toys that may really help – soon on Cilantro.


Photo: “Orgasm” by Diego Beyro

(Visited 127 times, 1 visits today)
TAGS: , , , BY: cilantro 0 COMMENT
CONTINUE READING

cilantro

Leave a Comment

how-to-find-your-orgasm-cilantro-healthy-criticism